The end is nigh

Having a glass of wine (what?! It's ten at night according to my body clock). Want to be tipsy for when the sun explodes/a meteor hits/zombies come knocking/whatever. Just in case!!! It's been a pleasure knowing every one of you, except you. Twat.

Adding a bit more to my decs!

Bought a six pack of golden reindeers from Robert Dyers and a pack of battery powered star lights for my window. I'm not going to stop there! I want a Santa climbing from my bedroom window! Tacky? Sure is.

In other news, I just ate the most tastiest, the tenderest (is that a word?) hog roast in a bun! They are £5 from Churchill Square, Brighton. Pricey but worth it! I love the holidays :-)

From tramp to prince!

Will be looking fancy in a suit tomorrow :-)

I'm not one to complain...

My Christmas Tree!!!

Here she is.

It only fell on me twice.

Treating myself!

Had a pretty miserable start to November. Such a depressing month!
To cheer myself up I've made some rather random purchases.

1) an iPad mini. I'm currently writing this blog on it. I love it! Although still trying to get my head around it. Always been an Android kinda guy, not Apple.

2) a lava lamp. One eye is watching what I'm typing. The other is staring at my lava lamp.

3) a (rather expensive) mug from the Disney store. It says 'The Wicked Queen' and has a picture of her on it. I can be a wicked queen at times! Very fitting.

4) loads of new clothes. Got to look good in Brighton at all times.

What next?!

Fuck the detox!

I was so determined to eat well and not drink, especially after a weekend of booze and junk food. It was an amaaaazing weekend though. It's safe to say me and my fab friends where a hit in Bouremouth.

I started my detox on Monday, ruined it with a glass or ten of wine. Tuesday I was determined. I was drinking green tea and eating hamster food. I even made a homemade soup. Which was delightful to the tongue.

Today! Relaxing start until the landlord walked through the door. The house is now at full capacity and it's f'in pissing me cunting right off. (see my previous posts: quest to find a housemate, parts 1 & 2).

I was in a downward spiral. I was even asked to do manual labour. WTF! Oh and the landlord stinks off old man hair and BO.

So, off I went to get the biggest Donner Kebab, 2x giant bars of choclit and a mixer for my Smirnoff Blue.

Landlord is here until SUNDAY so F.M.L.

Anyway, if I need to vent... i will do it right here xx

P.S. Well done Mr Obama. Not sure if it's my vodka talking but you are one sexy chocolate man! USA! USA!

To be continued...

...eventually.

Part two of my previous post will be published in a few days. Come back to find out what happened to Gay Air's Boeing 707 and crew members Martin & Danny!

Happy Halloween!

Muahahahahahhahahahahaha *ahem*

Myself and my friend Dan, cabin crew for Shoreham's newest Low Cost airline Gay Air, have just been called out for a night stop in Brighton.

We've put on our uniform, drinking a cheeky vodka as we get ready*

We have spoken to Captain Big-Penis, who has told us our flight time is about 20 minutes. The aircraft is currently in the garage as it has a faulty right falangy. It should be "fixed" in about 15 minutes.

We can't shake the feeling that something is still wrong. Something is going to happen to our plane tonight.

Airline: Gay Air
A/C type: Boeing 707
Registration: G-CUNT

To be continued...

*Gay Air is not a real airline and we are not drinking vodka before flying, FYI! #Justincase

Hurricane Sandy

Watching Sky News and the weather is already getting rough. Stay safe to everyone I know in the affected areas of America. Plus any crew I know who may be on a trip x